xintong.

had a long long chat.
its like as if im digging out those memories which i have kept so deep in my heart. so long ago..
somehow.. i dont know how to face it. i dont know how to express it. e pain. e pain of losing mih.. its like. im not only :( im not only :'( its something which no words can explain. i know he forgets le. probably all about it. but.. i cant.
do you know smth? the memories bring pain..

if i was given a second chance. i will nv hurt you again. i promise.
i would rather you kill me. than to see you upset by me.
but i know. sorry cant cure..

alot of things happen nwadays. i guess some problems cropped up btw friends. i dont know how to say laa. but its really hurting.. im trying to save this friendship. but it seems kinda useless. if you really think im this way. go ahead. i dont want to waste my effort trying to explain any shit anymore. im tired. i need a break.. :)

zuo ni men de peng you hao xing ku.
wo bu zhi dao ni men wei shen me dui wo yao qiu zhe me gao.
im not perfect. you are NOT too.
but why must you guys expect me to? wtf?
wo kuai zhi xi le.. qiu qiu ni. fang le wo.

prelims started last fri. physics prac was ok..? blur. really blur and got stuck at e graph. i think i lost bout 5marks le.. lolx. but its over. :) chem prac was ok too? but i cant test out whats that stupid gas which made me choke at it. -.- bio prac was ok also i suppose.. potato n ginger. :X the qns are hard.. eng hcl paper 1 was.. i dont know what to say. i hope i can score well.. i need motivation to work even harder.. :(
but time seems to be running out..

last thurs is prob e last day im studying with my classmates in e same classroom le.. the last time sitting there looking at e whiteboard. the last time switching on and off e lights. the last time looking at e clock in that angle? -.- i will miss them. saw e ppt for zhongzhengjingshengjiang le. hmm.. memories? yea. 2yrs. its abit sad though when i still cant see the whole class unite after 2yrs. but no matter what. i will not forget the moments when we have fun together.. :)
i will miss all teachers..

changed hp. samsung E730. had been crazily taking photos. LOL. :X but sadly. i cant keep those msges from e old fone.. mayb. thats e way god stop me from thinking le bahx. ty. i need someone to make decisions for me..

well. to lighten up the atmosphere..
where to find perfect lovers?!
watch save the last dance for me.
YINGXIU & XUANYU. love love loves!! :) if only theres such a perfect guy in this world too.. :)
he is so omg SWEET laa!! hahahahahax. :DD

and oya. jacky and julia?! LOL. JJs. dotx laa. lolx.

alright. tell me im dreaming.
time can heal all wounds?
no. the pain is stil lingering there..

tabudong. tahaishibudong.

likaishixiangyaobeiwanliu.

alone- 9:40 PM

hmm..

dunno why suddenly got the mood to blog.. lolx.

kinda. alot alot of things happen these few days.. these few weeks.
life is so sucking nwadays. lolx. i hope time can go back.

i cant help it but feel so stress.. but i dont know where to start. i dont know where to begin with.
im lost..
so lost in e crowd.

2 practicals are over. whats more scary are at e back. haix. i hope i can hang through..

how i wish to do the things i want to do now.
i dont want to wait until after olvl le.. :(

我要荡秋千.
我要放风筝.
我要坐在海边吹海风..

i dont ask for more.
i just want simple things.
i only want to be happy..

please.

pull me away.

alone- 4:22 PM

last day with you guys..

:(

alone- 11:22 PM

当你发现身边的人都是虚情假意的时候
那是一种悲哀..
真叫我哑口无言

固执的我
一直都不相信长辈所给予的金玉良言

但现在我终于
明白了
麻木了
绝望了

我开始怀疑人与人之间的友谊了
我开始对你们真真正正的失去信心了..

我累了


i dunno what have i done wrong.
im trying to change.
but you gave me no chance..

im really tired of trying to explain.
but whr is the you i once know?

isit that im getting not to understand you more and more
or that i dont even understand you in e first place..

i think i really dont know you anymore. neither do you.
four years. are just some sorta rubbish.. :)


fine.
igiveup.

i will let you win.

ifthatswhatyouwant..

just stop. making me tear for you.

you arent worth it.

:D

alone- 10:47 PM

-.-

its a sad week.

freak freak freak. how can i fall sick NOW?! argh.
sorethroat since wed night. ouch. olvl oral nxt tues menx. i hope it dont get worse.. :(
flu n cough. fever is on its way~ -.- alamak. why must i always fall sick when e real stuffs are coming. damn it. i think i really need to learn to take care of myself more..

had been having sooooo many many tests this wk that i think im going crazy seriously. had been studying till bout 12 everyday. very tired.. thats why sick le laa.. -.-
i hate myself for being so vulnerable. i want to be strong..

prelim is coming. but why cant i get started?! ogod. save me.. -.- im really stressed up. i dont like this.. :(

im sentimental. im emotional. im sensitive.
so WHAT.
i really hate it when im so upset by your words..

i had always thought that as long as im good to you. you will be good to me too.
but i guess. this logic is wrong huh..

isit better to regret on something you have done before. or regret on something you have not done..?

why must i saw you.

idontknowwhototrust.

alone- 2:36 PM

".

got a really strange dream ytd. i dunno why will got that stupid dream laa. but.. its really sweet lorx. :)) however.. dreams are often e opposite in reality. haix. :(

ytd was crosscountry. hmm. ok laa.. position 100 and below. wahahahahax. was rather amazed. cuz i saw soo many ppl ahead of me laa. and i slacked halfway and walked. :X at first we 5 run together. in d end i lost them.. luckily hying came and pei me when im feeling abit erm.. lolx. then we walk walk walk and siting liling shipei charleen jocelyn caught up. hehex. so we walk and run together lorx. :)
actually i kinda xiamu them bahx.. its like.. i saw them encouraging each other to continue to run. i saw them waiting for each other when one slowed dwn. i saw them as a group. its the kind of spirit which i cant find in ours. owell. perhaps im a burden too bahx.. i dont blame anyone. this is life afterall.. the cruel reality which i have to face.

we walked from parkway all e way to lagoon. O.O its FAR. but actually i dont feel much laa. since that time tibia outing i had walked so much before.. and i walked back e same route. -.- horrible. terrible memories came back. everything seems so familiar suddenly.. :( alright. i really regretted gg that time. really..
if i was given a second chance. i will nv go.
a disastor. a nightmare.

i got fazhan outside class ytd. cuz i din listen during class?! -.- wth. is not i din listen. is i see time left so lil might as well chunk everything together since theres nth much to write for e second paragraph also what. but nvm. im not d only one. hehe. got alot of guai kias pei-ing me. make me feel better. :P i had alrdy expect my name to be called out anw. no diff?

the days we are left for each other is not many le.
i know. history will repeat. like what it always do..

holdmetightanddontletmego.

imissthesea.

alone- 10:12 PM

happy belated bday singapore! :D

hehe. so ytd was sg 41st bday. last time in national stadium. owell. i din really watch laa. was surfing net talking to cuzzin and doing that pink bk? lolx. :)

its really sad that national stadium is gna be teared dwn and rebuilt. to think that my 2 yrs of combine school meet were held there.. youdianshebude. memories. esp my sec3 that yr. when cchms clinch e first? hahax. but its all history.. -.-

i was at my auntie house ytd. hahax. cuz their house de view of fireworks is better mahx! :P fanzhen long time nv go le also mahx. xuxujiu. :) yea. so i took a video of e fireworks? lolx. but my camera quality kinda lousy laa. so.. :X but nvm i got use my cuzzin de camera take. not bad. hehe. but e second time de firework isnt too nice.. :( but nvm. no fireworks are not nice. its our precious money afterall.. heartache. -.-

haix. tml got crosscountry. damn. i couldnt find anyone to walk with me! :( lolx. not i dun wanna run. is my stamina sux and i dont think anyone will want to wait for me.. lolx. pathetic. -.- i hope tml wont be a sucking day.

my hp plan's up soon! i dont need a new fone. but i want a new fone. yet i couldnt find a suitable one. -.-
anyone got gd suggestions? or im gna take that samsung de liao le. lolx.

tell me what am i feeling..

:(

alone- 10:06 PM

MLB. :D

hehe. alright i think that i should be a normal girl from now on and start having some idols? :P lololol. havent had any idols for this 16 yrs. i guess its time for me to have someone to look up to. :)

yepp. so i was watching e superband's finals. then i saw mlb. wow. excluding e fact that they are shuai. they play e intruments until so pro also laa. -.- my eyes were like 0.0. ahahax. not so big laa of cuz.. lolx. yaa. and i went to utube and watched e parts which ive missed. yea. they are really pro. so. ive decided to work hard on my piano too! one day. one day i will stand on e stage confidently and proudly like them too. :) i can do it? yes i CAN. rofl.

i like the xiaowei they sang e most. i think this song really hit me for i dunno what reason. hahax. wangbadan qianshou woosa shenbian damn nice too!! ^^
ahh. now im crazy over them. whee~ :DD

had great fun today. :) were taking fotox in e morning. then go grand audi. despite the boring quiz. e songs are nice. hehe. but its abit saddening when i saw md so enthu n wth was my class doing. only e 11 of cuz was enthu-ing.. gosh. then we went dwn to run! LOL. :X was really hot dwn there. its my last yr in school celebrating le. although its fun this yr. but i still miss my lower sec national day.

went to bugis with jl n xh after that. hehe. old friend huh. :) saw many many many earings! alamak all so cheap. but cannot buy. need to save money you see.. haoshebudeworx.. had some catchup bahx i guess. hehx. its a meaningful day.

为什么我总是想到他的缺点..

你会去想一个你不喜欢的人吗?

alone- 5:40 PM

迟了-

erm eh hmm.. dunno what to say.. was abit speechless and rather quiet. i guess im in my own lala world today. i can suddenly be so crazy. and another min back to myself.
confusion. contradiction.
其实, 有时懵懂无知也是一种幸福..

anyone watch love at 0 degree celsius?
OMG you can MELT laa.
was really wondering. go where find this guy as nice as weixiang lehx? hes shuai rich and MOST imptly. hes soooo NICE lur. and hes NOT a flirt. :) such a perfect guy. i think extinct le lorx.. -.-
tv shows like to give ppl hope that these guys do exist. but actually they dont.. lolx. im not fa-ing hua chi. just thinking how contradicting tv shows and life are.
ahhh. but of cuz.. if theres such a nice guy. how great can it be?! LOL. its so true can! :P
WEIXIANG. ELVINng.

one of my hamsters died..
心里是难受的..
now d other one is gna be oh so lonely...

yes. e distance is present. and its getting bigger.
feel all alone once again.
im not thinking of you.

怎么大家的心情都那么的糟啊.. ):

disappointments.

alone- 3:11 PM

huiyi (:
empathy0304
loyalty0506
happyfool
justthis-@hotmail.com
oweijoailubuodnemin

i just wanna be happy. :)

loyalty0506
me
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khang

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xiuli
zhijuan

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