its over-

yea. the performance was over. the day which i longed was over. its game over..

was feeling like a total crap ytd laa. its not as fun as i thought. its not as great as i thought. its not nice.
i feel so inferior.
none of the juniors know me. i was like huh? when i was looking for the comm they just shout at me and shoo me away. fine. treat me this senior name is invisble then. can u be so rude to an audience? ls was beside me. asking me why is your junior so rude? i could only use silence as a reply..

the show was not bad. guess many incidents crop up bahx.. i like charleen's ju e best. :) its just soo sweet lur. hahax.

so i was really feeling so stupid and blur the whole day. at the end of the performance. i was sitting there watching them doing the cheer. yea.. guess ck n zy are right.. im a slacker.. :( i din contribute anything.. haix.

had some catchup with zy n ck. :) its been long time since we last chat? =X well. we grow up le..
night was scary.. lucky ls was with me on the way home. :) but 2 girls walking alone at the lanes are not safe as well.. -.- was telling her i really feel useless after ck n zy suaned me and seniors continuous asking why arent i on stage. -.- got the urge to.. cry.

mayb i really regretted gg..

alone- 7:21 AM

haix..-

i seriously think that im suffering from you yu zheng. too emotional.. -.-

well. my knee hurts now. alot.. i dont understand why is the bruise becoming redder today. and more painful..? ouchie..
haix. i want to know why am i so clumsy. i had been knocking into many many things today. and yea. my bruise. -.- push chair into table knock my knee. turn arnd knee hit table. take bag up. rubb dao my knee.. -.- i think i really mei yao jiu can..

hmm.. i guess rl is right. eating can make a person happy. :) hahax. i feel much better while eating the tom yam noodle. at least i forgot bout my depression. and i forgot bout my knee. isnt it gd enough? but the moment i stepped out of day and night. im being pulled back into the reality..

told rl today.
i got internal n external injuries.
and im hurt physically n mentally.
-.-

would you want to have happy memories? or would you rather have sad ones?
alot of you will want happy memories.
but have you ever wonder.
its often the happy memories which make you sad.
you cant go back to the past..

its the pain.

alone- 2:59 PM

ouch-

:(

sat.
piano was not gd as usual. sat in a straight up position with only my fingers and feet move for 45min. -.- can u believe it?! its so not ez can..

sun.
tuition was ok. but kinda sianx lur.. and heard smth kinda shocking from cher. so.. ren bu ke mao xiang mahx? =X guess this is life. the more a person grew. the more he cant stay innocent. haix. its a pity yea..? practice running with lq. though i dunno if it will help..

mon.
2.4 sux. i think i just miss my dear C for only bout pathetic 10+s. how great.. -.- and guess what. we run in the drizzle. how romantic! lolx.. i dunno if this will obstruct our running laa.. but anw. my stamina is going down.. this is a fact. :(
erm. ty erich n ur dad. :)

tues.
talked to mrs hsu. lolx. well. theres nth we can do bout my eng i guess.. -.- my vocab is just so limited lur. she said smth which is quite true. i dunno how to take initiative.. -.- well..
cdc full dress rehersal was not bad bahx. just abit.. eh.. unprepared bahx.. but i think they will do much better this sat de! i trust that they can do it. :) but heard charleen said cher trap them in school till like 10+pm? -.- wth. this is so ridiculous can.. exams are coming laa.. cant they just understand students? we rnt full time actor n actress dumbo. -.-

wed.
i damn dont like today. its a sucky day.
n so. i fell down again. -.- i dont understand why m i so stupid. o wait. im stupid everyday. just that im stupid-er today. and i dont know why. i know mum is gna scold me for falling dwn. and tada. im right.. -.-
wth. knee so pain. -.-
haix. im destined not to get a gold this yr.. :( well. resign to fate? xingfu. bushizijizhengqude..
argh. so damn bloody hell MALU laa! :'(:'(
AHHHHH. ):):
bubbletea shop uncle is so clever! he understand what my name means. :) lolx. he said my name fits me. yes. i look happy. but. am i..?

i dont want any hopes anymore.
i dont want to dream anymore.
cuz i dont want disappointments anymore..

its going to be an end soon.

right?

alone- 6:15 PM

contradicting-

why do i keep forgetting the things i want to remember
and
remembering the things i want to forget..

stoned.

alone- 12:58 PM

alone- 8:27 PM

-

i have been continuously asking myself.

have i ever regretted choosing this school. have i ever regretted coming to this class. have i ever regretted having these friends..

seriously. im still struggling with my answers..

really tired this few days.. though i dont know why. -.-

mon.
everything was ok bahx. but rain was superb big. =X
and oya. one guy was kicking a can and whee~ his shoe fell into the lake. :) but sadly. he got it back. -.-

tues.
i dont like. alright. im so extra lur. u guys dont know how it feels laa. im so sick of this life.
had flu in the morning. u know how scared im? for ur info. my flu often leads to fever. lolx. so yea. hope it dont get worse. :)
cdc was ok. the performance are nice. i like the story plots. but the acting skills of the actors mahx.. =X i got no right to say anything.

so i need photox for the sec 4 thing. memories flooded when i fliped through my album laa. i can nv go back to the fun times.. :( its irreversible.

i thought im the one

who had been forgotten.

not d other way round.

alone

alone- 9:18 PM

haix-

suddenly realise its APRIL now.. how sad?

olvl is nearing. and great. i havent started revising. imagine hwk hwk n hwk everyday. it is drowning me even if im trying to keep myself alive. i can only say smth laa. sometimes. some hwk seriously dont help much lorx. its just a waste of our time..


BUT. this long wkend not much hwk though. so im slightly free-er than usual. :) but still. staring at my tb. reluctant to study lehx.. nth just gets in. -.-


so. napha is coming. damn. -.- i dont think i can get gold again le lorx.. :( im getting weaker n weaker laa.. n i can feel that. continuosly failing during pe. sadded laa. i dont even think i can pass my 2.4 this time laa. ahhhh. help me plx!! i want a C! :(

ytd.
cher not in a gd mood. erm. so yea. lucky cher din explode on me. i hate it when ppl scold me lorx.. =X so.. din go anywhr after piano. haix. dunno whr to go anyway.. completed hwk. :D

today.
wasted alot of time. -.- din revise dao. or shld i say. i dont know whr to start from.. -.-
HOW? :( damn laa. im so stress now. argh. -.-

life is so boring..

nishuodiqiushileyuan.
yaoyongxinquyoulan.
zhezhongshuofaduolanman..

alone- 7:49 PM

:D

yay! ytd so nice!

sports day wasnt so nice though. my school was defeated. -.- from first to last? school wasnt enthu at all. or should i say. the upper sec only? my school is the first to leave laa. so dotx.. -.-
rain stop rain again. argh. i dun like rain.. so disrupting. :(

hmm. din manage to see any ngee ann friends.. :( well. its a pity. lolx.

edit*
i saw xp on the track! ngee ann friend. LOL. n there i was sitting there. wondering if that guy is xp. i was telling tony n rl.
that guy horx. hen xiang my friend lehx.
his hair hen xiang him. his height hen xiang him. his shen cai also hen xiang him. n i remember hes from track.
and tada! its him! gosh. to think that i was wondering at my seat for like 5 min.. -.-

went dinner with khang rl tony erich sk yh sean kw. :) well. i din know the bowl is soo huge laa.. then i eat so slow one.. -.- so kinda guilty to waste food n let them wait for me.. lolx.

n hahax. we took neoprints! omg. yh so gdd laa! he treat us the neoprints! =X n so. i have my first neoprints with the guys. :) so much fun lur. be it taking the neos or decorating them. i will definitely miss this fun menx..

n so. i have a gr8 thurs overall. :)

smile!

x)

alone- 7:44 AM

alright-

alot of things happen this few days..

sat. piano cher sick. -.- i woke up so early then lidat. hmph. but manage to finish quite alot of hwk. :)

sun. watched campus superstar ending replay. well. just so love zhiyang de yi shou jian dan de ge. woot. so rox plx. :P so sweet also. hahax. well. the first time i managed to finish so many hwk. :) i love the jin bao yue tuan of the superband. hahax. so shuai! rofl. revolution is nice. :)

mon. the cchms cheer. lolx. i did shout laa. but dont think will be so enthu tml le.. -.- cuz it will be freaking hot tml. LOL. n rl is lame. she keep thinking who will she invite for her wedding. which i think will be bout 10 yrs later laa.. -.-

tues. erm. i fell dwn from stairs. -.- arm nw very pain lorx.. :(
then pc time. shiok! played afew games. lolx. got one part which makes me laugh the most. the sec game! steph was like screaming while running. guess many ppl were shocked too. hahax. even jilaoshi was laughing like mad. :P its fun. long time nv have such fun le. hahax.
so hmm. then i studied till like.. 12+. -.- so tired nw.. yawn~

wed. 2 tests. all flunk le laa. no energy to do anything lorx. -.- hongkong ppl came. :) well.. okok bahx. but its kinda sad that they came for like only ONE pathetic day. -.-
ate lunch with hying n ll. :) hying is dotx. she sed i got stead. i was like. WHAT? whr got?! -.- me this type. seriously. i dunno who will want. :( haix. so mafan. -.-
so yaa. morning we went shopping at day n night. all thx to liqing! n of cuz. the four of us. :D

hying said something. i like to keep things to myself? lolx.. :) kinda true. hahax. as i said. xi guan. jiu hao bahx.. it might be unbearable. but. i can take it i hope. :) just let me continue to keep myself bz. keep myself tired. keep myself from not thinking. i have the need to escape. ^^

tml sports day. damn. gna be boring w/o jl n hying. -.- i feel like ponning. AHH. :(

erm ya. so today is ck de bday. sheng ri kuai le. :) but dun think he will read laa. hahax.

woyizhizaisikao.

rangniliaojiewodehao.

quewangle.

changchangduiniweixiao.

alone- 4:28 PM

-)

im sleepy. i need slp.. :(

ive learnt to stfu. since no one is bother to answer my qn. -.- im tired of trying..

this few days are joyous. lolx.

wed.
zc's bday. :) happy belated bday bro! hahax. gave him his prezzie. dunno he like it anot lorx.. ask him he say he like. i mean. no one is as straightforward as me and say dont like right.. -.- so. i really hope he din lie.. cross fingers? lolx. its the last yr im giving him prezzies le..
im gna miss him. real badly..

thurs. 060406.
:) everything is ok bahx i suppose. its a slackk day. :D had a gr8 laugh at com lab. alot of ppl change le. time flies? we ve grown up unknowingly.
last yr in this school le..

fri.
khang is such a lucky girl. :) so many many ppl care for her lorx. hahax. so xingfu yea. if one day im sad. i dont think this scene ll repeat.. i hope shes ok now. cheer up! smile. im lonelier. :)
bei ai. shi xing fu de..

alright. so xy got a bf. -.- gratx to her lorx. though i once said i hate her. i dont mean it lur.. -.-
lolx. anyway. its so shi bai when she this type also can get bf. then me..
t.t

***

dont be so good to me can?
why must i listen to you?
what happen?
nth.
say say!

im just afraid to lost you when ive fallen so deep that i cant control myself. yea. so you din catch my fall.
and im hurt..

***

stupid jl reminds me of this fragment.. -.-

let me smile. let me forget. let me live in my own world.
time can heal. :)

xiguan.

jiuhao.

:)

alone- 3:14 PM

:)

smile!
im gna heed khang's advice and be happy. :D
alright thx khang. :) touched yea. :P gna write you a vv nice letter b4 olvl. hahax.

dunno why heep headache this few days. was lieing on the bed from 10-11+pm ytd. and i just cant fall aslp. was thinking of stupid things.
things which can nv happen. things which is impossible. things which no one will know.

hmm. so.. im gna put the past away. i wanna live my life!
ive forgotten you! :D

yay. i can do it!

face life ALONE.

:)

alone- 9:14 PM

haix.

seriously bored. i dunno what to do. i dunno what to think. i dunno what to see.. -.-

staring at mich's letter. i wanna reply. but my mind is in such a blank.. feel so. empty now.. =X i dunno why though. lolx. mayb really miss the sms time we once had. things are different now.

mum said im an ostrich. i like to escape from reality. yes. lolx. im not tired just now. but i just force myself to fall aslp. cant stand thinking. -.- i dont wanna think of my life now. i dont wanna talk about the things arnd me now. i dont wanna give a damn to anything now..

sianx.
ji mo. yi bian cheng le xi guan..
whats life.

yong gan de mian dui.

wo.

neng zuo dao mahx?

alone- 8:05 PM

:(

alright. im seriously very very very tempted to dl the maple patch now. -.- lolx. i was dl-ing it ytd. until it left only a few min. then i cancel it. rofl. haix. now im so bored can. and the temptation came back.. -.-

today is april fool's day! :) so sad it is during the wkday and i din have the chance to see any friends today.. so i couldnt fool others and see others being fooled. :P so sad can. last yr in this school and i couldnt get any fun anymore.. -.-

hmm. got a headache again today.. yawn*
i need alot alot of slp..

can time heal scars?

no.

it can only heal wounds..

alone- 8:16 PM

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