-ending of 2oo5-

dis year. is indeed a fruitful yr for me.

a year which i learn bout e cruelty of this world. a year which i learn that some friends cannot be trusted. a year which i learn that we have to depend on ourselves for everything..

ty cdc for allowing me to realise that hard work dont pay off. ty tibia for letting me learn to cherish friends when i nearly lost them. ty 3loyalty05 for letting me know which are true friends..

i just wanna apologise here to those whom ive hurt. and to thank you for those who are there when i need you. i appreciate all your presence. because of you. ive learnt. ive experienced.

tears. dont drop for nothing. they mean you are something to me. i truly felt. whats life..

life dont always sux. roger. at least. this time. i did end my 2oo5 beautifully i guess. ty guys. i ll cherish my life. so must you.

tough yr ahead yea..

i forgive. but never forget.

well. i shld b glad i got a nice family. :)

ty dii n mei.
isoluvnightwind-

fullstop.

alone- 9:24 PM

time flies.

nightwind outing was over..

e outing was ok i tink. =X but ppl were in different grps.. i got bullied by denise n mich. -.- denise kip push my head. mich kip poke me. diaoded. lolx. overall was fun. :) took alot of fotox.. lolx. im crazi. hahax. but not alot anw. i so luv e sea. sooo nice plx. jux dat kip raining. rain 2 times. -.- anw. haf gr8 fun laa. dey at arcade so cute oplx. was laughing like mad. :)

ok lets c wat happened ytd. let me record dwn here. b4 i forget.

met denise dii n mervyn first at mrt. lolx. dunno wat to sae menx. was crapping arnd wit denise. hahax. kan de chu denise n her bro de relationship v gd lorx.. luking at my bro. got abit xian mu her laa.. dii was quiet tru out. =X i suddenly feel kinda useless laa. dunno wat to tok.. dunno how to approach.. :(

anw. reached mac. qy sean rg n alan reached lo. onli sed hi to qy. yes. im dao. rofl. den we sat dere n tok crapx for kinda long time. cuz waiting for ck n mich. in d end. we still went to ecp first w/o dem..

reached ecp. saw mich. e same laa she. nv change. stil so chio. but dis time. she kip poke me. -.- i tok crap one time she poke me one time. :( lolx. hahax. den we go bowling. we walk a big round laa. den ck came. anw. c dem bowl all v pro. i dun dare bowl. :) no face to throw. lolx. chat wit dii ck n mich. den denise sae i ps qy n her. -.-

i forgot call bac hm. mum call me n shout at me. den throw fone. -.- i was like. sry sry sry sry. useless- den call bac n was gna cry le laa.. i mean she shld noe im forgetful wat.. in d end. wte happens i ll call her tell her i do wat. -.- dats so lame.

den bout 1pm. we go mac dere meet xw n kenneth. den i tot we sed not to bike.. but dey wan. so let dem lorx. dey go bike for bout onli 1+hr nia come bac le. while dey were cycling. denise n me go eat lunch. :P den go beach. take fotox. den draw on e sand. too bad onli e 2 of us.. but. it was fun. :)

after dey came bac. omigosh. it rain again.. dey all run to mac. got drenched laa of cuz. :) lucky theres an invention called e umbrella. :D ck denise n me walk to mac wit our dar dar umbrellas! yay! but jeans stil wet laa. lolx. watch dem eat lunch after dat. hahax. play wit my camera den kana scolded by mich.. :(

after their lunch we went to e arcade. omg. mich is so damn bloody hell violent. -.- wat a mummy i got. so hiong. no wonder everytime child abuse.. pengx. anw. saw a bunch of noobs. stare at me? i stare bac laa. tink i scared mehx. -.- realli feel like slapping dem. c dem all so short. so 'inocent' luk. u can nv imagine dat dey scold vulgarities more pro den my bro.

i went hm early. at 4.30. lucky qy bring me. lolx. if not i sure get lost de.. im direction noob.. =X took bus wit dii to mrt. :) den my mrt stop is onli 1 stop.. =X nvm. dii din get lost can le. hahax. reached hm. lucky mum din scold le.. onli ask me y hair wet wet. den sae lin yu bu sheng bing cai guai. den force me go bathe. phew. :)

well. i guess. i did enjoy myself. :)

nightwind-

291205

alone- 9:04 PM

it sux.

when u need friens arnd u n u got none.

2hrs of fake smiles. ty guys.. -.-

its when i noe. wats lonely. :)

alone- 7:14 PM

its tiring trying to act tough in front of everybody..

im tired.

alone- 6:25 PM

great.

im officially sick. :)

alone- 6:38 PM

merry xmas guys. (:

noe wat. jux 1min ago. e hell fish splash whole lot of water one me. wtf. so dirty laa. -.- stupid fish. n its not onli one time. its 3times. how i wish i can cook it one dae.. -.-

anw. i haf a lonely christmas. =X no one jio me out. pathetic. rofl. hahax. anw. went online lorx. tok crapx whole dae. sianded. din play much stuffs. lolx. anw. completed one hw. :)

sianx. later gg to tuition..

haix. 3more days to outing. finally haf e courage to ask my dad. he allowed. :) anw. heard parents sae. theres a news dat there might be another tsunami.. =X but dunno when n whr. but dey predicted it.. gosh. plx dont let it b 29..

ahhhhh. sianded-

alone- 10:36 AM

alone- 12:00 PM

sianded-

todae. nth much happen. wan study. but.. din manage to. jux auto go switch on com. go online. den started chatting liao.. =X hahax. :) nvm. still got 2 wks. rofl.

todae tuition. it seems to me dat everyone is doing vvvv fast. i nao choice. oso do vvvv fast. BUT. still din manage to finish.. -.- bo bian. treat it as homework.. pengx. realli sianx menx. y m i captured in a jail.. :( i wan fly out! rofl.

suddenly remember clouds. took it out n play. half yr le.. half yr din touch le.. suddenly touch.. hao xiang all e memories which i tryin to forget returns le.. of cuz played alot of rong notes laa. =X but. listen to it. sadness returns.. remem cher teach me e feeling of e piece de shi hou.. he wan me imagine my bf is leaving sg. den i stand at dere lukin at e aeroplan set off.. -.- dotx rite. but. e feeling is realli sad laa. =X i feel like telling him menx. if onli i can find. :D but of cuz din laa. i jux laugh. hahax. its soo.. strange. it all seems like fading memories nw.. =X

its how strange dat time flies.. =X its like. i noe my tibia friens for.. 1yr le? wow. hahax. yea. sec 3.. is an awful yr bahx. in e first half i mean. got damn rehersals.. got damn tings happen.. nw.. i jux wish.

to end my 2oo5 beautifully..

alone- 10:04 PM

yawn-

had realli bad nite dis few daes.

ytd. mum bs us. -.- i din do aniting rong. did i? face black black whole dae. crack jokes she dont even respond.. r my jokes dat bad.. -.- 2+ eat lunch. 4+ force me eat dinner. she tot my digestion system so pro mehx.. den duno wats rong wit her laa. laksa put so much chili oil. whole laksa tasteless.. onli noe its spicy hot. pengx. anw. ty to my bro. he swtiched my com off. den i got nth to do so do hw. finish eng hw le. (: except 1100 words.. =X

last nite. i tot gastric pain will go away.. but it dont. it stays.. -.- imagine. i flip here n dere for 2+hr.. went to slp at bout 10+. 12+ bo bian too pain den go find biscuits.. lolx.. i 1+ den fall aslp i tink.. todae. 6.30 lidat force to wake up. to bathe. -.- duno wth my parents wan me to do laa.. 6.30am.. dotx.. anw. dad scold mum. mum nag at me. sae wat he better die early.. -.- den when dad din scold her she sae he better not die early or we all cham. so damn contradicting laa.. adults..

argh. hao xiang sick soon le.. =O better stuff water le.. :(

dang..

alone- 6:35 PM

=X

cdc is having activity now. n yet. im at hm. doing nth. :) go for wat. im jux a nth. stay dere n rot? i rather rot at hm.. go dere ll onli make me feel more useless den im alrdy am.. -.-

everyone is bz. cuz its wkend. how i hope i can go out now n feel e rain. :) its so shuang lorx..

haix. im restless. =O

dead-

alone- 5:23 PM

(:

dis few daes. was mainly crapping.

yes. i agreed wit qy. i feel dat.. nightwind is bac. erm. jux dat we rnt playin tibia. not animore.. =X but i luv e feeling of crapping wit dem. its like bringing me bac to those fun times when we flooded e gc. :) sweet ones. nice ones. unforgettable ones. :)

dunno y. feel excited n scared at e same time for e outing.. =X excited. cuz. we can finally get together again. after we know each other better. scared. is i scared of history repeating itself. plx. dont haf too high hopes on me.. i dont wana c e shock look. i nao wan.. :( soo. anw. we even decided wat to wear le. rofl. dis is funny. :) hope nth happens. realli. i jux wish dat everyting went on more smoothly den im tinking nw. x)

hmm. ytd piano was ok. e last lesson im gna haf in dis yr. hooray! nxt yr. is my extreme nightmare. =X anyone bother to save me? sianded. sec 4 olvl. diploma exam. theory exam. pengx. wan me die isit.. :( anw cher din scold me. cuz i can find e ans faster. i guess its ezier bahx. i was praying damn hard dat i can find e ans. n tada. i found it! :P lucky yea. hahax. but. not everytime im lucky.. =X

later got tuition. sianx.

my eng still havent finish. piang. sianx.

nxt thurs gg library do proj. after dat mayb go bugis walk walk.. alone.. yawn* haix. hope hying hurry come bac. or i go alone myself.. :( i scared of e stupid loneliness laa.. it sux.. sianx.

alrite. tink i go do my stuffs le..

i luv my dii n mei kae? stop fighting! :)

alone- 8:58 AM

sianded-

many tings happen. realli. wat can i sae. sianx lorx.

mon. tuition. was ok. but cher sed i do v slow.. :( cant blame me. i was waiting for u to teach me dat pathetic tys qn. n yet u were gg arnd ans-ing other ppl's one instead. could u plx. respect me..

tues. piano. its a disastorous one. or wte u spelled it. i got scolded. cher nearly vomit blood. wtf-ing hell u wa me to do? if i noe how to do dat qn. i wont do it rongly.. -.- since i dunno how to do. u let me stare at dat qn for half hr. i still duno. moreever is 1 hr.. -.-but u cant blame me.. im stupid. dats it. happy? dont scold me plx. dun throw tings plx. please.. y r guys all e same.. i dont wanna cry..

wed. tryin to do hw. but failed. stil duno how to do eng.. -.- anw. trying to orgaise nightwind outing n i was.. pissed. -.- sry laa. but.. realli.. lolx.. can we tok crapx after we settle everyting.. :( tok crapx is ok. to liven up e atmosphere.. but first.. we shld get tings done.. well. im tired of tryin to get everyone to listen.. so.. hope qy n denise can do e job liao.. since dey no hw. (: ty.

btw. got a dii. sam. (: hes a shuai shuai one. n a pro pro one. (: but i would like a kor more den a dii.. -.- lolx. but nvm. hes a gd one. realli gd guy. :)

alrite. i hatfa continue to pia.. yet. i havent completed half of my hw.. menx.. may god bless mee.. pengx.

dotx-

alone- 8:51 AM

uhoh.

had a damn lot of nightmare all in a row last night. freak plx..

i duno which is first laa. anw. got one dream is i wake up crying. cry v hard. dont ask me why i cry. i also duno. =x got one is got one pervert wan touch ls. den i pull her awae den accidentally cause her to fell dwn.. den she angry n ignore me. argh. u noe how scared i was? =x den got one is my cuzzin bring a baby bunny they found to my house. then when i feed it abit food. it grow into an adult bunny after a few min.. -.- freak plx. another is we hafta finish climbing all e ups n dwn de stairs to e other end. e stairs are like ups n dwn laa to e far end. then i got ju gao zhen lorx. dare not realli climb u see.. den when i finally gonna make it to e very end. lynn grab me n tada we return to e near begining place.. ... dotx rite? den inside e dream i was bth laa. hahax. i dare not climb lorx. den wan me re-climb again! =x scary. ahax. got one is. dungeon. tink dis one is play maple too much.. =x anw. erm. yaa. i realise our school got a dungeon. inside got a scientist. strangely. inside e dream i noe him. but in real. i duno.. anw. while hes doin experiment. he accidentally kaboom himself into a very very very small figure. =x reali small. den hes tryin to find bac another wae to kaboom himself bac to e origial him. erm. v fairy tale rite? =x but.. i realli dreamt all those. walaoeh. freaked out laa.. argh. den din realli slp well i suppose.. kana force to wake up at 6.50am todae.. -)

lolx. din tok to my dad dis few days. i mean.. whats e point. if open mouth is all vulgarities. might as well stfu.. i mean he not me. at least i know how to respect. we din tok. not even one pathetic word. i dont bother to call him baba. nahx. not anymore. theres no such a need. rite? he come home i stay in my room. he go slp den i come out watch tv. u call this a family? =x only one word to describe this. pathetic.

din do much stuffs this few days.. only clean room. clean living room. do theory and trying to do some school hw n play maple.. =x yea. boring. plan to pluck out one dae. to buy everyone de prezzie. :) ls sae i thoughtful. hahax. actualli no laa. i jux.. wanna prepare fast. i dun like last min laa. cuz some prezzie i last mi make or buy like nt nice.. =x

yea.. so. my hw. onli completed amaths tys.. -.- dotx.. out of so many.. onli completed one. gosh. huiyi. buck up.. -.-

sianded-

alone- 8:19 AM

hurt-

alone- 9:41 PM

freaked-

i told myself to b strong. i told myself i hafta be strong. i told myself i must be strong.. but why.. why my tears just keep falling because of u idiot. 'dont cry for someone whos not worth your tears.' hes not worth it. definitely. 'the one whos worth it will never let you cry.' lolx.. crapx reasoning. cry like mad in the room. get scolded for something not my fault. -.-

i was discussing proj wit charr mahx. see how we wan the project to be and all this. who knows he will come home so early? who the fcuking hell noe laa.. -.- he knock the door in a way i never heard b4. obviously i dare not open the door laa.. -.- who ask u to scold me when i open the door for a salesman.. -.- thats YOUR fault lorx.. n yea. once u stepped into the house. u glared at me. the next moment u yelled at my mum. n me next. wtf? cant u just bring a key? if not the invention of a key is for what bloody hell shit? i ve never see such a useless guy. oopx. gay. -.- say i whole day hugging computer nia. everyting duno how to do. wtf? he no eyes? i one day use com how many hrs uncle? mayb he cok eye.. -.- u say that im stupid. u say that other ppl's kid r much more better then me. u say im ugly. u say im useless. gr8. thats what u think of your daughter. :) what a gd dad i got. what a gd father i have. what a happy family im living in! pui-

i hate you. i hate you. i damn hate you. why the fcuking hell must you bring me to this family. why cant you just kill me when im born. why must you make me suffer. you better watch out. you better pray i wont grow up. if not. you r dead. u got no children to send you off the funeral. asshole. i hate you.

cry wont help.

alone- 9:17 AM

=x

fri. went suntec wit ls. :) had gr8 fun plxx. dun b jealous. cuz i can hang wit a chio gal! rofl. :P hahax. yea. shes chio. no matter whr when what. lolx. dat dae my skirt was. damn short. -.- actualli its not totally skirt laa.. ku qun. heard b4? :) so its shorts lidat lorx. jux dat it appear as skirt. =x anw. we played everywhr. toysurus. carefour. or wte dey spell as.. -.- its like we go to alot of shops n play laa. i noe im childish. :P but. we realli enjoyed ourselves. reached hm kana scolded by mum. e following i dun wish to sae. it sux. cuz of a stupid reason im banished to hell.. -_-

sat. expected to get scolded. but. din expect so soon. watch tv oso get scolded. wtf rong? dis guy is gila. -.- had a realli bz dae. piano turn out to b unexpected well. perhaps. i suddenly clever on dat dae? lolx.. but turn stupid e moment i reach hm.. pengx. well.. im stupid. bo bian..

sun. erm. get scolded again. jux cuz i duno wtf he tokin. scold me in front of my auntie uncle cuzzin. sae i stupid. FINE. plus.. my cuzzin brought his niece to his house dat dae.. den i c dem oso mood no gd laa. dun ask me y. i jux.. dun like dem.. serious.. too bad.. went home. was in extremely bad mood. esp my mum left my bottle at THEIR house. freaked me out laa. den call me go bac take. i dun wan lorx. . shouted at my mum. i noe i shldnt do it.. but.. my bottle.. my FAV bottle.. -.- den when i pass by toilet. heard them discussing hu is hu. den wat they very pretty.. erm. duno. but e truth is. i dun tink they pretty.. ah lian nia.. -.- my skool de giels r 100 more times prettier laa. except me. =x forget it. i sae anyting is rong. so fine lorx..

mon. went tuition w/o my bottle. gna thirst me to death. dotx.. bz dae. tidying up some of my stuffs lorx. dats all for mon.. boring?

tues. todae. did no hw again. tidy up my rm. n soooo many tings laa.. was nearly scared to death by e dust in my room. can u imagine how dusty it is? :( now my back is soo sour. perhaps too long nv exercise liao lorx.. now is ache. haix. tml. hafta tidy up living rm. sianx. how boring can life be.

i still got theory to do lorx.. bz bz bz wit boring stuffs..

while packing my stuffs. i saw e draft of e letters i rote to u. it hurts. isnt it? tings rnt e same. not animore. time flies..

haf u ever liebe me b4?

alone- 8:36 PM

fcuk you.

yes. im vulgar. i dont care. im realli pissed.

n freaked out by such a guy in e world hu onli tinks hes rite. hu onli throws temper at his wife n children. hu alwaes tink dat he suffers e mox. hu onli tinks dat he rocks. hu onli tinks dat w/o him we ll die. hu onli tinks dat he is e mox impt person in dis world.

i wish i could tell him dis.

no. u rnt rite. no. u dont suffer. u r enjoyin. no. u dont rocks. u rots. no. we ll live better w/o u. no. u rnt impt. u r so extra living here.

noe hus dat guy? yes. its e fcuking asshole idiot sucker freaking guy. no. hes not even a guy. gay. hes not my dad.

tell u dis. if i ever get to grow up. if i ever to earn money. if i ever get to marry off. i ll disown him.

n of cuz. i wana ty him. for letting me haf dis incomplete childhood. for letting me live in nitemare for dis 15 yrs. for letting me haf nothing i wanted. THANK YOU.

u r jux a useless guy hu only noe how to sae those vulgarities n noe nth else. such bloody asshole hu waste government's resources. such a fcuking dog hu only noe how to bark.

i hate u. for lives.

u suck.

alone- 9:23 PM

lolx. khang khang sabo me.. :(

Rules of the game:
1) Post 5weird or randomfacts about yourself.
2) At the end,write 5people's name,the people who you want to do this quiz next.
3)Then tag in their blog to leave them a note to tell them to see your blog.

erm. weird facts bout me?

`im crazy. a perfect siaozhabo. someone who can laugh like mad until cry. lolx.

`im emotional. ppl sad i oso sad. ppl happy. of cuz. i ll b happy for them. :)

`im stupid. i tend to resign to fate ezily. i mean. i cant control my life e wae i wan to. or. can i?

`im real sensitive. get hurt over some minor stuffs. even when u dont even noe wat u ve done rong. or mayb u jux dont care? nvm. its all e past. i cant do anyting anymore.

`im selfish. i use to do the tings i wana do. i use to sae e tings i wanna sae. but often hurts ppl i guess. but the me now. regret. i mean. wats the point.. but. i ll realli. try real hard. to control myself. to b the bex me. forgive me plx..

alrite. 5 ppl to do dis stuff? eh..

zoey. qiuyin. sengchuan.

seriously.. i duno to ask hu else to do. 3 ll do laa horx? hahax.

Ichliebedich.

alone- 8:44 AM

huiyi (:
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i just wanna be happy. :)

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