i can feel e distance. so near yet so far.
feel lost. e scar. when ll it recover? isit a soon or nv..
sianx. oral on tues. flunkin. suddenly duno hw to tok laa.. den todae paper 1. flunk oso. nv read newspaper. how to do.. dang plx. forget it.. heck. anw i alrdy plan to flunk all e papers.. i no medicine can cure liao. jux soo lagg behind.. i face fate. :)
todae mum tok to me. sae wat she very open. n dat she sae if i like a guy i shld go for it. not wait for him to come for me. -.- den i was like diaox laa. den i sae too bad laa i beri stubborn one lehx. hahax. den she sae she mux wash my brain smdae. LOL. i dun trust luv mahx. bo bian. unless.. i could find a guy who could change my wae of tinkin lo. but dat ll seems so farr dream. hahax.
hmm. so yaa. dis few daes were dead beat. n i still hafta tahan tru nxt nxt wk. 2 more wks. den i can slack liao. mux jia you huiyi. mux add oil. u can do it. at least. try.. =x
alrite. lets pia everyone. strive for e bex bahx.lost. whr ll i b found.
m i being taken for granted?
m i being extra?
m i invisble?
m i a clown?
m i a crapper all e while in ur mind?
m i a loner?
m i a nth..
alrite. dats my thoughts of e wk. mani mani tings happen. though it may seems to b so minor. but july ppl r more sensitive. dey tink more.. taken for granted? i duno. jux feel dat ppl tot i shld do tings for dem. n if i dont. im bad. m i extra? or invisble? tink ppl dunno my presence. tok tings which might hurt mee. but dey duno.. plx. realise my presence. m i a clown? yes. i do tok crapx. i do act crazi. im jux tryin to lifen up e atmosphere. i jux wan ppl to smile. i jux wan happiness. but. ppl tot im siaox. try to aa. m i a loner? duno. jux feel dat. no zhixinpengyou. i duno wat. i duno hu to tell my secrets to. i duno who can help me. everyone seems to haf deir own prob. wat bout me. i duno hw to share. when i share. ppl ll tink its such boring. or im crazi. haf u ever felt e world is spinin? do u noe e fear? e fear of collaspin w/o being able to do e last ting u wanna do.. yes. when i felt e world is spinnin. no one noes. :) everyone was doin deir own ting. all i could do is to hold onto e table n wait till everyting is ok. im realli tired. realli.. plx laa. dun treat me like dis ok.. yes. i may not b ur bex frien. but at least im tryin to b a gd frien.. stop tellin me hw gd she is..
ok. nw bac to reality.. hmm. todae was kinda fun. had a gd laugh at pe lesson. x) yepp. we went slackin.. hahax. charr n jl so funny. our class is havin erich craze. gosh. LOL. lolx. for one ting which is true. our class is cute. x) hahax. yepp. kinda rite. all those tokative one in our dar dar class. : ) jux luv it. but. sometimes im too small to b seen laa. hahax. sit wit diff ppl for dis 4 mths. all e cute ppl. x) reali happi laa. can crap one. lolx. but as daes goes by. when we sit differently.. tok lesser rite. but. dats life. lolx.
oopx. btw. realli sry if u c me buey song. yes. knowin a person longer u ll tend to dislike him or her more. ok fine.. i noe i like to comment. but. sometimes its jux jokin. one sec later i ll forget. if u realli take it to heart. realli sry laa. u nv noe wat happen to make me dislike a person. u duno. so hw can u sae its not my business? sometimes.. u hurt someone jux one word. u duno wat happen..
mayb i shld realli stfu rite? mayb im too noisy.. sry guys.. i ll b diam-er from tml onwards kae? i ll try.. dun wan tok crapx liao. sometimes. u c appearance too much.. u c me smile too much. u jux duno. hw my heart shatters..n u ll nv noe.
sianx.sry e last post was crapx. i delete liao. forgot wat i wanna rite suddenly ytd. ok. since nw i still remem wat to rite i shall blog nw.tings rnt simple. i noe. mayb im jux decievin myself. n others. hmm. i understand hw u feel charr n hying. come on. its jux bcuz u guys tink each other haf new bex frien. mayb tings rnt dat worst? i began to try to luk at e bright side of life after i exp so much. it hurtx. i noe. it hurtx so much.. but we still hafta get on wit life yea? e earth is still spinnin. it wont wait for us. so dun b sad. jux cheer up. :) prob u guys jux dun haf confidence in urself for being a gd frien bahx. x) a gd frien is simple. jux b gd. =D agree? mayb a sayin is rite.. when u noe a person longer. u ll begin to dislike him or her more. kinda true. dats y a relationship of 10 yrs can go to drain jux becuz of one quarrel. but. i do believe dat frienship can last forever. unlike luv. becuz luv u hafta spend ur entire life wit dat particular person. not ez. dere jux may b communication breakdwn or watsoever. frienx. r owaes dere. :) dats y i dun trust luv laa. cant blame me. :P hmm. ya. so i realli hope u guys can continue to b bex frien. c-ing u guys happi. i oso happi. x) mayb sometimes face to face cant solve tings. y not try smsing or tok on fone? it helpx. trust me once kae? alrite. here jux hope to tok both of u tru. i got e same prob too dun forget. jux dat im tryin to hang on. i dun wana let go. u guys too. kae? n of cuz. i ll owaes b dere whenever u need me. :) smile.orite. here to rerite e post dat i wana post ytd. erm. ya. im stress. realli.. hw can u blame me for being stupid? chers dun haf faith in me for scorin well. hw can u imagine dat i can succeed? i realli try my bex. im jux too tired. exams jux nxt wk. 3 more wks n its all over for wat haf i studied for my sec 3 life. fast? time flies. realli.. i din get to do aniting for my first semester. prob cuz of cdc. dat makes me wasted 6 mths of my life. ty cdc. -.- i dunno y. i hated n dreaded to go to cdc nw. realli. i realli hope i could jolly well quit it. but. wo bu gan xin. all dat i haf given to cdc. is a blank. i din get wat i wanna get. im a nth. a total failure in dere. gg to cdc ll onli make me feel like im a failure den enjoyin being part of it. dis sux. but. wat else can i do? ty seniorx. i luv u for lettin me such a failure. ty. u rox my life. ...i gonna break dwn soon i guess.. i got endless hw. endless stuffs to do. n i got piano. i needa do thoery. i needa practice it. im jux too tired.. realli.. i got no more energy. plx. dun force me.. n guess wat. i still havent started my revision. great. n i got last semester stuffs to relearn again. cuz i practicalli no nth. cool?time. i got no more time.. plx. let me go..
hey guys.
realli realli sry if i duno hw to console u when u r feelin bad.. realli sry if i duno wat to sae when u r sad.. realli sry if i seems like someone hu is dumb when u need someone to tok u tru..
yes. im stupid. realli sry.
BUT. im a gd listener. dats e truth kae. i ll listen to all ur frustration. all ur unhappiness. or ur sorrows. im willin to listen dem all.. but. i ll kip quiet. i mean.. i prefer to remain silence laa.. after u finish sayin. i believe u ll feel better de lorx. rite? im e quiet type laa. so sry..
yupp.. so.. ya.. u can share ur prob wit me. :)
:) alrite. ty guys. im much better nw. lolx. though.. still stomachache.. =x erm. yaa.. so.. ytd. went bac to skool. was still not feelin well.. mum dun allow me to go. but i heck. go wear skool uniform. den go wear socks. LOL. :P no choice. im alrdy far laggin behind.. cant b absent again.. :( soo. yaa. after skool. jl de dad drive me hm. o0. 0o. hahax. she kip sae her dad de van very smelly. whr got lorx. -.- anw her dad very gd laa. make me tink tink bout my own dad.. sianx 3/4.. ppl dad so nice. my one.. argh. sux. onli tink he big. yaya. when i grow old. he ll noe it. i buy my own condo. heck him. he wan come live can. IF he throw awae all his birds. if not i dun care. he live streets oso his own prob. i dun haf dis kind of dad. freakx. todae. had 2 tests. amaths. n ying yong wen. =x lq pian me.. she cheated me.. she sae damn ez. but how come to me is soooo difficult? .. ying yong wen test was held in staff rm cuz wed i din go skool. lolx. in d end ji lao shi mux go off cuz her car duno wat happen mux go repair. den she left me on her seat to do e ying yong wen. omenx. e chers in e staff rm r horribly noisy. -.- i cannot concentrate laa. esp got one cher. kip tokin so loud. began to suspect shes shouting. -.- anw. after dat. go help ms tay deliver her letter. den go bac class meet hying to haf lunch. den go bac class n idle arnd till 3pm. LOL. actualli i wan do hw one. but. duno y din do. hahax. btw. e one i like nw. is myself. my mum. my hp. my wallet. my money. e ppl arnd me. i no an lian ppl. or did i? wte it is. my memory of e past is erased. i wanna b happi. not unhappy. :) u noe wat. many ppl once promise me stuffs. but in d end. they broke deir promises. my senior sae ll teach me hw to cycle. but tink oso pian me one laa. hahax. i began not to trust promises after someone break his promises of treatin me chocolates.. mayb its jux chocolates. it means alot. =xorite. gtg. got lotsa stuffs waiting me to do.. SIANX. i ll b happi.
ty. x)
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:)
ty for e get well msg. i ll. hahax. try laa. but fever seems to come bac jux nw.. =x
lolx. jux nw hying julia kl n sk come my house downstairs to c me. thx lots! though i luk ok.. when i went hm fever come bac. -.- lolx. but nvm. i ll hang on. i ll hang tru. x)
hey guys. take care too. dun fall sick.. =/ drink more water peepx.
:`(sick. fever. headache. -.-went to hospital ytd. tts. i tot jux normal fever laa. den suddenly e doc sae to my mum. 'ok. so we ll haf ur daughter in hosiptal for a few hrs for dian di [grape water. -_-]. she ll b in hospital for a few hrs to b observed. u can wait outside.' -.- i was shock diao laa. got so yan zhong mehx. pengx. but anw. its pain. pain.. real PAIN. i hate to haf needles on my body laa. menx. dun tink i can b a nurse. -.- i so scared to inject needles laa.. soo pain.. tears jux fell dwn lidat. dotx. anw. 6+ ok liao. 37.5 degree celsius. still fever rite? but better den when i at hm. =x hmm. den i waited for my mum cuz she went hm wait for my dad furx. den my fever come bac. -.- was freezin laa. kip shivering lorx. den everyone lukin at me.. -.- cuz i e youngest dere.. argh. i hate hosiptal..todae cant go skool. cuz mum dun allow.. :( plx. god. buddha. dun let it b dengue.. i still got lotsa tests to study one.. haix.. todae shld b in new seatin plan. anw i sit wit hying. LOL. she crapper laa. so nvm. :P but horx.. our surroundin r guai kias. -.- can bore to death.. sianx. orite. gtg.. not feelin well liao.. =/ cant face com too long.. argh. i hate myself..
sianx.furx dae of term 4. last term of sec 3. -.- din failed physics.. but c5.. :( but class ave fail lehx. =xanw. pei saw mrs indra makin new seatin plan. it sux plx. i dun feel like changin place. i luv e ppl arnd me. at least dey r crappers. ez to communicate laa. if let me sit wit guai kias can die plx.. somemore sit in front. actualli oso not bad. can concentrate more. true plx. :)anw. too late. too tired. yawn* tml den blog more. nitex.
cry.
my tears r.
dry..
life.wats life. cruel. sad. happiness. luv. hatrad. laughter. cries. mournings. grumbles.dis is life?todae. was a very scary exp. my bro. quarrel wit his gf. love. wats love? from afternn quarrel to evening. finally. its resolved. :) love is smt to make u happi. love is smt to make u angry. so. wat exactly is luv? its a feeling. :`) lolx.c dem ok liao. duno is relieve or wat laa. everytime quarrel.. duno if i shld get a bf anot. if i got a bf hu owaes scold me.. i might as well dun wan him. x) i wan secure. not those relationships w/o e security of when ll we fight. -.- so. shld i trust luv? hahax.erm. yaa.. had a gd chat wit my dii ytd. :) began to realise. we r both soo bz.. :( life. complicated life. i jux wan it simple. cant i? haix. he asked me. y ur personal message lidat? `its a rong rite from e start since i met u.` dis is wat i rote. cant possibly tell him rite.. so i sae frien prob bahx. x) but it is.. hhax. but. i told him. jie ll owaes b happi one. dun wry. :) yepp. so. i haf to b happi. no matter wat yea? hahax. smile. bring laughter to dis world. is my mission. LOL. :Perm. yaa. u noe wat.. deres another body kana cut into mani pieces.. -.- ewwww. wtf laa. y r guys so badd laa. cant dey jux let gals off? dont dey feel guilty? freakox. hmm. finish heymaths. or rather to sae. those i duno i heck. :) hmm.. tryin to study chi.. cuz tml 4hrs not at hm.. begin to tink dat. i got bout 7hrs not at hm or not free every wk.. cuz of piano. hafta practice mahx.. soo.. i got lesser time.. n i hafta haf damn gd time management. or i ll b. laggin. sianx. realli stress plx. o lvl is jux bout 1+more mth. n SA2 is jux 3 more wks nia. freak. stress. im damn bloody stress.. tests. every wk. wonder hw ll i b able to hang tru. haix.btw. todae my senior go tekong. =x sianx. tekong seems like a nitemare to me. cuz c my bro suffer inside dat time. i oso buey tahan. lolx. lucky im not a guy. :) i ll b happi. no matter wat. : )
dang.. i jux realise. she n me. so much alike.. too bad. she duno me. but. i noe her. we got too mani waes alike. dat gal. dat gal got him.. ..at least he found someone bout e same as me..
wozuiaiderenqueshangwozuishen..
sianx.dun feel like doin hw. =x jux return from skool. from chem remedial. n as expected. i failed. d onli 2 person hu failed. cher rite try harder. .. hu dun wan try harder? hu dun wan b clever? she sae. those who got study surely noe hw to do. i got study kae. i realli got.. i realli try. realli.. but. u cant blame someone hu is soo stupid rite? its not my fault lorx.. nearly cry laa. cuz godf saw my marks den was so shock.. he still sae u din pass lehx. -.- obviously i noe. den actualli i wont cry one laa. he sae liao my tears jux flood my eyes lorx.. den he funny laa. go sae i no tissue paper gib u. -.- hahax. anw. manage to force my tears bac. cant possibly let cher c i cry. :) i hafta b. strong.. i hate myself. 7-8marks gone. cuz of careless mistakes. careless.. u noe dat 8 marks can change my life? haix. y m i so stupid.. i dun understand y..had lunch wit hying n charr. n actualli oso wit rl n jl. but dey wanna eat wan tan mee. but i wan tom yam. so we eat seperately. in d end e 5 of us gather together n tok tok lo. so long nv tok so much. mayb. i ve grown quiet too bahx. no one to tok to during e break. no one bothers. -.- all run till duno whr. den jux lie on table n zuobo.. sianx.. life is jux soo boring. finally. i realise. i can b. quiet..went to c my testi jux nw.. memories. sweet. so sweet. :) but.. its all e past. realli.. past. n it ll nv uturn n come bac. never.. but oso. deres sad memories.. i read from newest to oldest. den saw e testi my friens rote. so nice laa.. but as i read e older ones.. more sad laa. dat time jux met rite till so gd. nw lehx. like shitox la. -.- den saw smt i.. oso duno hw to express.. is c e testi riten for... e story.. i last time recommend to... de.. nw. aiya. veri sad jiu shi laa. duno hw to describe laa. argh.erm. yaa.. hafta go pia my theory liao.. haix..
:)wow. so long nv blog. :P actualli dat dae wana blog de. but duno y blogger beri lag. so din blog lorx. :( anw. alot of tings happen dis few daes..mon. erm. tuition. lolx. den went for tuition. met hying on e bus. x) she was wearin skool pe tee. hahax. den i was shock. den awhile later den remem she got wushu after tuition. LOL. okok. i noe im retard. :( anw. dat dae was maple craze bahx. kip wanna play. c. told u guys i got veri ez addicted to games one. enen though its such childish. -.-tues. erm. slack dae. no need go skool. no need go tuition. but den. go c chi physician.. cuz i kip beri giddy.. den get e stupid medicine. so sour plx.. argh. i realli eat medicine untill i wan cry le.. how.. haix.. veri gross lorx.. :`( anw. did nth much lorx. was ponderin whole dae if i shld do e card. or not.. too bad my hm dun haf flower laa. if not i ll pluck dem all.. lolx. anw. ask his add liao.. but its still. as cold as ever.. not those sayang sayang words liao. haix. let e past b e past?wed. todae. bio remedial. tot its in class. but its not.. anw. quite slack oso bahx. :) todae lesson was kinda interestin. i jux luv mass lecture. hahahax. cuz cher wont focus so much. den can SLACK. wheE~ :P actualli dun wan eat lunch at hm one.. cuz mee fen lehx. i eat till so sianx laa. is those da bao 50 cents kind one.. pengx. not nice not nice. den todae kana force by mum to drink smt beri bitter lorx. den i beri angry laa. i eat medicine till i wan go kill myself liao lorx. den still lidat.. argh. anw. dis mornin kana suan by jl. i was like wadde freakin hell laa. like u sing v nice lidat. freak. n horx. stop anw sae sry. do u noe dat ily n sry is e mox impt word in life? do u noe dat dey mean alot? can u jux stfu anot. bloody hell.anw. finish chi tys todae. :) but suddenly realise i still got alot alot alot of tings to do. skool reopen got chi 3A test. den Amaths test. den wk 2 got matrics test. bio test. n emaths common test. dang lorx. n im still in hol mood.. haix.u noe wat. i wanna hate bball. anione concerns to bball often hurtx me lotx.. my kor. my kor frien. another maple frien. -.- wte. hate dis life.. wanna get tru it. i realli get sick of medicine. cant stand it.. so sour. so bitter. wanna cry plx. -.-yexufangshou. caishiyongyou..
sianxpia-ing maple since ytd 8+pm. nw lvl 9. lolx. pro? nahx. hahahahax. okok. im crapx. =x everyone is playin. so i oso join in e fun lo. but im a noob laa. wait till i got lvl 10 den i shall take taxi to perion!! n b a warrior. LOL. all my life i haf been a warrior. or swordsman. or knight. but actualli. dey mean e same ting. i haf nv been mage or other ting. lolx. tink dats my life. =/i haf a dad. hu likes to throw temper anitime he likes. i haf a bro. hu onli calls me chou ba po. i haf a mum. hu can b gd n bad n u nv noe whens shes bad. wat can i sae? im living in hell.todae forgot to bring umbrella. but i tot i got bring. -.- anw. got my mum dwn to brin umbrella for me. shes gd. x) but kana scolded laa duhh.did nth todae. tryin to do dat egeog ws. but. to no avail.. read storybk. wanan finish readin it. but to no avail.. ok. did not do aniting successfully todae. sianx. gonna pia finish my storybk later on. :) cuz tml hafta return liao. hahax.al rite. hol is startin. but. it doesnt mean much to me. i would rather go skool. stay at hm n do hw n go for tuition early in e mornin is realli sianx. i wanna spend time wit my friens. dey r better den hw. lolx.went too early to piano cher hm todae. he live in simei. so i stae at e corridor till time reach. den i watch aeroplanes setting off dere. very cool plx. total i haf wayched 3 aeroplanes setting off. dey r soo big. lolx. okok. mayb u guys tink im a noob. but i reali nv sit on an aeroplane b4 mahx. bo bian. obviously everyting ll seem curious to me. :Phw i hope to go bac as a child. everyting seems so new laa. lolx. but. its all e past..u noe wat? jux nw tv news got me!! LOL. hahax. its bout e can chainin de interview laa. den i luk so kns. -.- hahax. but no choice. actualli dun wan get interview one. but late liao den xinying mux hurry finish her work so we let her interview lorx.. but hafta sae hw chung cheng rox realli sux. -.- in e furx place i dun like dis skool laa.. so.. i sae till so mian qiang.. =xorite. gonna go read storybk le. :)
JULY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and tobe understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easilyconsoled. Honest. Concerned about people'sfeelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Notrevengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikesnonsensical and unnecessary things. Guidesothers physically and mentally. Sensitive andforms impressions carefully. Caring and loving.Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.Wary and sharp. Judges people throughobservations. Hardworking. No difficulties instudying. Loves to be alone. Always broods aboutthe past and the old friends. hot. Waits for friends.Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unlessprovoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
yes.. im hurt. n i ll take long to recover..
last dae. full stop for term 3 of me sec 3 life.im growin older n older as daes goes by.more mature i guess. at least. i haf learnt hw to cope stress i hope. sec 3. tests tests tests every wk. gonna suffocate soon. =x i haf learnt to let go when deres necessary. i hope.. i dun wan cry. not animore.. haix. di xia de yan lei yi ting bu zhu..ytd. superstar finals. expected weilian got in. but hu cares. as long as junyang gets to join e universal n can haf his cd. x) junyang rox kae. lolx. dat weilian is like so fake laa. when e judges vote for kelly to win. he smile till so damn bloody hell fake plx. den got one round is e judges vote him. den he smile till so happi. -.- den u noe wat rl sae todae? she sae u cannot blame him. blinds duno hw to smile. dey duno wats smile. -.- very cok rite? den hw he cry? ppl teach him hw to push tears out mehx? freak laa. wat kind of stupid reason is dat. -.-did nth much ytd. was practically slackin all e wae. n u noe wat. i forgot completely dat deres amaths test todae. LOL. but luckily its postponed. :Pgodf was absent todae. sick. lolx. duno real or fake. LOL. hope he get well soon bahx. ^^ hahax. anw he not in skool oso gd laa. i no need kana scolded shuddup. no need kana suaned. :) todae charr sit wit me!! yay!! hope everydae lidat sia. hahax. cool. x)todae was havin serious headache sia. sianx. :( nxt wk is not hol sia i tell u. nearly everydae is packed. pengx.wodexinzhendeshoushangle..
huiyi (:
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