sianz..
5 tests dis wk.. faill physics again.. -.- B3 for chi.. damn lorx.. hey. but did i try my bex? yes.. i did try my bex.. my vvvv bex.. but y dis is happenin to me? at least i tink i haf tried 80%.. realli v gd le lorx.. after cdc performance whr got mood to study.. haiz.. but at least bio pass bahx.. x) mux b content. lolx..
todae mrs tan last dae for bio le.. cheers or cry? dunno..
hmm. dis wk.. happen alot of tings.. aniwae.. todae qing gong yan.. vvvv happi.. finally! finally our skool got nice buffet.. LOLX.. yea.. finally.. e mox nice food in a buffet is in our skool todae.. LOLX.. yea.. nice.. x) ate till full full todae.. lolx.. not v full la.. coz i drink til i bloat mahx.. hahax.. after dat went bac LT1 for cdc de jin mao jiang.. aniwae.. its so cool.. our dar dar sec 1s juniors sing for e sec 4 seniors.. sad harx.. yea.. make me feel guilty lorx.. coz dat time we sec 1 we din even sing to seniors.. lolx.. which might b a gd ting to prevent dem from being deaf.. lolx.. =/ aniwae.. everyting was ok.. i got a few prizes la.. hahax.. thx menx.. hmm.. oya.. i got prezzie from zhi fei ji de dao yan n s.m.. yea.. but i like e letter more.. hahax.. yea.. its nice.. n it let me recall all e happi n sad memories.. n guess wat? i realli gan dong.. n i cried on bus.. lolx! after debi got dwn from e bus i took out n read.. den cry on e bus lorx.. lolx.. lucky i tink no one c me.. else dey ll tink i crazi cryin to a paper.. lolx.. but hey.. its not ordinary paper.. its ZHI FEI JI!! x)
time.. can realli let me c e diff personalities a person can haf.. yea.. agree ritex. but not split personalities la.. wat i mean is dat a person can b gd n bad.. but i tink e longer time u spend wit a person.. e more chances u ll dislike dat person.. coz u noe all his or her de bad points le mahx.. den sometimes ppl is hard to accept den ll start to dislike.. as for me i dunno la.. sometimes realli feel v shi bai.. coz i feel dat i duno wat to do smtimes.. mayb dats wat i m meant to b bahx.. can i help to solve e conflict? haiz.. i ll try to help. but it seems hard to..
haiz.. nwadaes arhx.. duno wat la.. sometimes cant concentrate.. sianz lorx.. den ll rite crapx on msn nick.. but hey. i m not in luv or wat horx.. dun xiang wai wai.. NV ll i gonna haf one.. coz i m still waiting for e appearance of my bai ma wang zi.. like hw e rabbit appear from e magician's hat. x) i believe in him.. somewhr on earth he ll appear to me.. somewhr. somewhen. sometime. somewat. somehw. i believe my dream ll cum true.. ppl mux haf some dreams to b awaited to b cum true.. dis is mine.. n i m waiting for him to help me shi xian meng xiang. but whr? mayb shi cheng wei dao bahx.. hahax
yea.. late liao.. gonna go slp.. nitexx x))
wa.. wat a long but short wk..last wk.. since tues.. i was feverin.. lolx. is dere such a word? i dun care aniwae.. hmm.. mon.. e mox carefreee dae.. no test.. no rehersals.. from tues onwards.. full run everydae.. till 7+pm.. n so bad timin.. i fall sick.. sore throat.. damn rite? n e worst ting is dat i got no time c doc.. -.- den kana scolded by mum la.. duhh.. lolx.. tues wed thurs.. full run in skool.. gastric pain on wed n thurs cum fever.. aiyo.. dun understand y i owaes fall sick at e rong timing.. thurs dat time realli pain till i wan cry lorx.. plus got fever.. whole body is like gonna collapse lidat.. den got conflicts btw me n one of my senior la.. compare me wit herself.. -.- i sick till no strength to debate wit her plxx.. fri no need go skool.. happi like siaoz.. but oso sad la.. coz i alrdy left behind sooo much le.. if still dun go skool horx.. i might faill more subj.. >< hu noes i so suay plxx.. on sat i fa gao shao.. understand? high fever or wte u call dat.. lolx.. omegod.. my eng is deproving tremendously.. >< woot~ furx performance on 4.30pm. erm.. everyting is ok bahx.. but e music at d end was rong.. -.- all thx to e stupid dooby doo music operator.. destroy e whole ju lorx.. aniwae.. 7.30pm de was a gr8 success de.. xD damn happi.. wahahahx.. finally its over after 6 mths of rehersals.. 6 mths of hard work.. 6 mths of sweat.. 6 mths of time.. x) we cry n we hugged each other after everyting.. yea.. it ll b such a gd memories for every each one of us.. it ll owaes b kept somewhr deeeep dwn in my heart.. x) 23042005.. i ll remem.. e dae when i feel like dying.. e dae i recover due to all my friens de guan xin.. e dae when i found happiness after long time.. e dae when i regret.. for not cherishin.. dont understand y.. god likes to make ppl regret for smt after dey miss it.. its kinda.. cruel ritex? damn cruel plxx.. it hurts.. hurt lotsa.. dis fri got celebration or wte u call dat.. is dat e last dae of my seniors? menx.. nooonoo... dont let it b true plxx.. zhi fei ji. bu dan yao fei. hai yao fei de geng gao geng yuan.. [weiting. huimei. catherine. irene. munwee. qiaodie. xiaohang. ciyi. haoran. christina. huiyi] 11ppl1dream. we roxx on. x)
tml gg bac skool le.. which oso means another bz wk.. dis wk ll definitely b so bz dat i wont even haf chance to on com?saturdae performance le.. everydae except mondae full run.. let me tell u dis..i ll definitely break dwn.. coz i m alrdy half broken nw.. hw can u expect me to b as cheerful as laz time? haiz.. jux finish doing e stupid egeog.. tell u i can die sia.. spend bout 1 pathetic hr doin one sub part.. dotx.. den somemore.. parents kip disturb me.. i do halfwae.. dey kip ask me go here go dere.. ask me go auntie house to pass smt for dem.. den later ask me teach dem hw to use hp.. later help me ask dem do stuffs.. walao.. can die plxxor..haiz.. so mani mani tings happen.. dunn even noe wat to do.. hw to solve dem.. got 3 tests dis wk.. phobia? yea.. i dun wan fail dem all again.. no wae plxx..sometimes jux wonderin.. can time realli change a person? time.. yes.. time.. time change us from a total stranger into close friens.. but time.. can oso turn us from gr8 friens to total strangers.. regrets.. ppl haf mani regrets in life.. i do haf too.. i regret not cherishin e fun times.. e gr8 times we had together.. nw.. we din tok le.. i feel helpless.. dun even noe hw to start a conv wit u.. mayb i shld jux gif up harx.. let dis frienship end.. wat friens forever.. wat kip in touch.. wat i ll remember u.. all crapx? mayb i shld even feel numb for dis too.. dunno how to face u.. its fate which brings us together.. i believe its oso fate which seperates us.. let dis cruel reality win.. i got no more strength to fight bac le.. i gif up.. its time to let go? i duno.. searchin for ans.. pathetic
F9s..cry.. haf been cryin dis few daes.. i m damn stress plxx.. everyting i got bac is F9.. wat else can i do.. duno hw to face my mum.. mayb its time i shld not slack.. i shld buck up.. mayb.. cry.. wat else can i do except cry? i dunno.. i cant seem to control my tears animore.. i cant. i becum fragile again.. its not me.. no.. it cant b me..rehersals.. i cant tahan e stress animore.. i hate everyting.. i hate to return hm late.. i hate to c my parents black face.. chers dont understand.. parents dont understand.. friens oso dont understand.. no one care.. i hafta solve everyting MYSELF.. i hafta settle every side myself.. when e hell can i ever live in peace? NV? fail all tests.. ALL.. no one believes.. but too bad.. dats e truth.. dats wat i got when i don try my bex.. thx for e retribution.. =.=" rehersals.. makeup ting.. my juniors my seniors.. stress.. make me wan die.. i haf been tinkin bout dying dis few daes.. plus nw.. i fall sick again.. gr8? wth.. no one care. so y shld i even bother bout lukin after myself? mayb death can save me.. vvv tired nw.. v sad oso.. mayb dats wat my life shld b.. mid yr exam cumin in 2 wks time.. n i havent started revising aniting.. thx for e everyting u guys gif me.. lamee..hmm.. v bo liao on e wae hm todae.. after meetin michelle after skool.. i tot of a topic.. den i tink n tink n elaborate it.. x)if tml is e last dae of my life.. wat ll u do?if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll cry..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna sae thank you to everyone of u hu r by my side when i feel helpless..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna find my zhi xin friens n tell dem all my secrets b4 night falls..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna throw all my books into e binn..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna sae hello to everyone on earth..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna let go of everyting..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna tell all of u that i ll miss u..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna stay up for 24hrs chattin wit my friens..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll play wit all my might n scream all i wann..if tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll wanna go to e beach n watch sun rise.. sunset.. n e stars.. n of coz.. e seaif tml is e last dae of my life.. i ll.. call e person sae e 3 special words at 11.59pm b4 i leave.... x)lolx.. crapxxxx.. hahax. menx.. feel like cryin sia.. argh.. if onli i can cry out loud nw.. hu can lend me ur shoulder?
duno wat to do nw..
might gg to slp after bloggin dis.. life is so borin.. haiz.. furx time haf i eva felt so free.. no test to study.. x) lolx..
bro jux called hm.. he sae he xie du zi e whole dae.. -.- den wats worse is dat he din tell e coporal or wte dere.. -.- den carryin on trainin.. bo doh lorx.. can skip trainin oso dun wan.. -.- lolx
hmm.. natural disaster? chey.. onli a small earthquake.. lolx.. i tot wat biggg disaster.. -.- but aniwae.. lucky no one is hurt.. at least it teaches us to appreciate each other.. x) life lesson.. lolx
hmm.. proud of myself todae.. done alot of tings.. finish tuition hw.. 2ws plxxor.. x) completed dem in 2hr time.. lolx.. d onli person hu finishes 2 ws! xD hahax. plus furx time i finish theory usin onli a few hrs! gosh.. hahax.. n i completed ritin letter to icedd.. lolx.. but i havent touch skoool hw yet.. ><
nth much happen menx.. onli i v tired.. lolx.. nearly fell aslp at my auntie de house.. though e floor not nice.. but lie on it stil can make me slp.. can u imagine hw tired m i..
hmm.. so.. hope world peace bahx.. x)
jux reuturn hm..return to dis four wall rm again.. i usin my bro de com to type dis entry.. lolx.. hmm.. do i miss him? perhaps.. dis mornin.. mum call me to wake up.. i open my eyes.. e furx ting i noe is luk at my bro de bed.. empty.. no one slpin or snorin dere.. i sat on my bed.. staring at dat empty place.. mum oso sit at my bed.. lukin at my direction.. den i sigh n walk out of my rm to brush teeth.. sad? duno..reach hm.. mum jux woke up from her nap.. she bu shuang.. duno y.. she no mood.. den after i bath.. she began to sae smt.. ur bro is sufferin in army nw.. yea? lolx.. i sed i noe.. i was wondering dat when i m in skool b4 dat.. i luk at e clock.. n tink dat nw is his trainin time.. wat ll he do? lolx.. den my mum sae dat he sure cant tahan de.. den i sae i noe.. lolx! coz he quit navy when hes in sec skoolmahx.. he cant chi ku.. den somemore he everydae cum hm from skool is play com games.. nv exercise.. all he do is sit in front of com till bed time.. aniwae.. jux hope he cant go tru..hmm.. ytd i saw mani tings.. i learn alot.. on e wae to pulau tekong.. i waslukin at e sea.. i was starin at it? lolx.. haha.. den i kip sae so niceso beautiful.. den mum tot i crazi.. when gg hm le.. its sunset time.. i nearly broke out wit cries.. [jux an adj to describe hw excited i m.. LOLX] e sunset on e ocean is jux simply so nice.. realli damn nice lorx.. too bad i got no camera fone to take dwn all e nice pics.. e scenery is jux sooo nice.. sometimes realli wish dat can wit someone i luvv e mox n sit at e beach watchin sunset.. den after dat go eat dinner together.. den watch e stars together again.. menx.. isnt it romantic??! lolx.. xPhey u noe wat? someone in my neighbourhood smokes.. i tink he is same age as me or older den meby one yr old.. he smokes.. o gosh.. i cant believe it.. kan bu chu lorx.. realli realli cant tell.. if it isnt seen by my own eyes.. i cant imagine it.. n e worst ting is dat.. his sis din or cant stop him.. aw.. hes not bad lukin.. hes not stupid.. hes not short.. y smoke?! omenx.. dont tell me its cool.. smoking is nv cool plxx.. i hate smokers.. realli.. it stinks.. nv ll haf a bf hu smokes.. haiz.. time can realli change a person alot.. i remem when i started to take bus to skool dis yr.. he was like guai guai boi lidat lorx.. hu noes he smokes nw.. -.- cant possibly he smokes to cure ani illness rite? impossible.. lolxmani tings happen durin dis wk.. dont understand.. y? donno.. i hope i haf all d ans..i nearly broke dwn dis wk.. too mani tests n pressure i gif myself.. i kip forcin myself to get better grades.. coz my results drop tremendously.. coz of too much of tibia? i duno.. i force myself to study.. but duno y my mind ll start todaydream bout crapx.. pressure.. i kip givin myself pressure for my rehersals n piano stuffs.. i can nv do well.. n i noe i m deproving.. alot.. wats rong wit me.. haiz.. wozhendehenleile.. realli.. i hope i can jux gif up everyting.. but.. can i?btw.. peepx.. deres a cdc performance on 27th april.. do gif us ur upmost support plxx.. bex is cum at 4.30pm de.. tix at $10 n $12.. x) ty.. u r greatly appreciated.. but i won force anione to go.. its ok.. coz i noe u guys ll sure gif us moral support.. thxfangwozou..
jux return hm..i wanna cry nw.. nearly cry on e taxi jux nw..todae is 7 april.. thursdae.. its e dae when my bro go army.. go enlistin.. i cried.. nearly.. but i dun wan him to saw me cry.. tink our cold war has ended.. coz he tok to me on e lift when i rushed hm from skool.. jux dat i dun understand wat he sae onli.. i cant sit still e whole dae in skool todae.. wryin bout my bio test.. n wryin bout wat ll happen to me when my bro is not arnd me to accompany me.. on e taxi jux nw. he sat nxt to me.. we shoulder touch shoulder sit.. i began to recall e happi memories we once had since i dong shi yi lai.. we played pillow together.. n we squash each other de head usin pillow.. we do hw together sharin a tiny winy table.. we eat together when he gif me e food he dun wan n i gif him e food i dun wan.. he help me when my com sot sot.. he help me to do my bk reviews.. he bao yun tun wit my mum n me on cny.. haiz.. i realli wan cry lorx.. n i gonna cry a few times on e taxi.. but i force it bac.. i m strong.. i cant let anione c e weak side of me..when reach le.. parents n e "son of singapore" hafta seperate.. he nv turn bac his head.. he jux walk straight w/o turnin bac his head to sae gdbye.. i can feel e hurt in my mum's heart.. but wat to do? feel numb plx.. after dat.. e corporal or wte u call dat brought us arnd pulau tekong.. hmm.. facilities quite gd.. jux dat cant charge hp.. too bad for my bro.. ahha.. in d end we eat dinner together.. in pulau tekong.. haiz.. sadded plxx.. dat is e moment i longed..can feel dat he dun wan go army.. but wat to do? dats wat all guys hafta go tru harx? its tough.. its realli tough.. i saw some other recruits there trainin.. e trainin is so tough dat i feel hurt.. menx.. u noe wat? i was wryin bout my bro.. ll he noe hw to pack his bag? ll he noe hw to organise his stuffs? ll he wake up on time? ll he b so stupid to kana cheated by friens? noe wat? he duno hw to tie knot.. he dunno hw to tidy his tings.. he duno hw to fold blanket.. he owaes kana cheated by his friens.. coz he toooo trust dem.. wat to do? he trust his friens more den he trust us.. his own family members..sometimes i realli wonder.. hw cum siblings tend not to care each other. or rather dey don tend to express it out.. isit so hard? i tink its hard.. lolx.. coz i tink myself.. i tend to dare to care for others.. but for my own family.. i care for dem.. but i don express it out. its jux all in my heart.. but hu ll noe u care for dem if u dun express dem out.. -.-haiz.. tings happen so fast.. so hey peepx.. cherish e peepx arnd u.. b4 u regret.. i sort of regret le.. nw my bro is at army.. no one accompany me at night.. no one teach me hw to do maths.. no one help me when i dunno wat to do to my com when it sot sot.. walao.. i realli wan cry le.. heard dat dis sat.. 9 april ll haf shi jie mo ri.. might haf someting bad happenn.. which means might haf volcano eruptions or smt bigg happen.. menx.. i realli hope my bro ll b ok n can hang on truout e trainin.. hes weak plxx.. lolx.. he got asthma when hes young la.. cant blame.. lolx.. noe wat? i todae den fa xian hes so pale.. even i m tanner den him.. -.- mayb coz e sports dae den i kana tan like charcoal.. lolx.. but hes realli white.. wit so mani pimples on him.. -.- but horx.. strangely.. can c dat hes once tannn..menx.. time realli change a person alot.. hope he ll ping ping an an hui lai.. x)i shall pray dat he ll ao guo all dis.. i believe n hope dat he can do it.. may i survive tru e daes when hes not by my side.. bex wishes
huiyi (:
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