friens..
������濂藉��涓������鸿��浜�瀵�瑁����瀹跺涵锛�涓����涓�浜���芥�����澶╂��锛���存��涓�浣�姣�浠讳��浜洪�戒��瑙ｆ�������ュ繁���( dis is a sentence i rote during chi lesson ytd.. our cher wan us to use paibi to construct sentences todae.. therefore i rote dis sentence.. ) it means dat my gd frien is not rich.. nor genius.. but someone hu noes me well.. x)noe hu m i tokin bout? tink u noe.. haiz.. tink we r realli driftin apart.. but nvm la.. at least she has found her happiness.. i shld b glad for my 'sis' rite? i cant b selfish.. she has e rite to find another person to replace me to go hm wit.. to go recess wit.. to copy hw wit.. haiz..went to find her ytd mornin to go sae happi bdae to zj.. but.. she was crowded wit friens.. i was tokin to her den her friens drag her awae.. tokin to her realli seems so difficult.. den i walk awae w/o even sayin bb.. but i dun even tink she noe dat i feel hurt.. but nvm la.. as i haf said.. as long as she is happi.. went hm wit her ytd.. i walk faster hm wit rl.. hoping to take e bux b4 her.. so dat can avoid her.. but too bad.. e bux dun cum.. haiz.. den saw her holdin hands wit her new frien.. den ono.. hurt again la.. den she cum i jux sae hello den diam le.. coz her frien n her v close lidat.. dun wan seperate dem.. den at e bus.. tokin to her bout our class.. our topics r jux so simply limited lor.. but i tink i got e feelin of last time.. when we r gd sis menx.. but nw.. lolx..one mth le.. one mth of dis sec 3 life.. nwadaes de clouds r so nice.. so beautiful.. tink i v long time nv realli go n appreciate le.. mux learn to treasure e tings arnd u.. or u ll regret as i do.. x)
menx.. life jux sux sux sux..me still not feelin well.. -.-.. still sick.. wth.. haiz.. ytd.. i cried.. bcoz of v stupid ting.. coz i no voice.. den dun wan go cca.. den ask mum help me rite letter.. den she dun wan rite.. wan me quit cca.. wtf? i jux cant understand y my mum is so unreasonable de.. m i realli born in e rong family? den i angry at her mahx.. coz she everytime force me quit cca.. n threaten me.. quit or not its my decision.. wats her prob.. i no voice ask her help she oso lidat.. does she realli wan me die den she happi? den i go to e busstop alone sobbin all e wae dere.. well.. no one care for me.. so wats e point of tellin everyone i jux cried.. n dat hw sux my mum is..dis mth.. many many many many ppl sms me to ask me hw.. n bo liao stuffs like r we suppose to do dis dis n dat? since dat person alrdy noe.. wat for askin me? if duno or forget hw.. i can help.. but noe wat dat person sae? 'sry.. but i accidentally delete ur msg.. can u resend?' wth.. in d end dis whole mth i m jux answerin to dose 'gd' friens of mine.. den guess wat.. i jux told my mum dat my fone bill ll daefinitely explode dis mth.. den she scold me.. wtf again.. scold me.. yell at me.. menx.. i realli feel like slappin her on her face.. hello.. i pay for my own bills lehx.. she care for wat.. if its not bcoz i respect her.. i ll NEVER NEVER tell her.. crapx.. crapx crapx.. my family realli sux menx.. still got dat idiotic a maths cher.. owaes call me to ans qn.. wan me to stand truout her lesson.. crapx again.. lucky i noe hw to ans.. kip callin my name.. hello.. deres still another 40 ppl in e class.. i noe my name nice.. but no nid kipp callin plx.. lolx.. she oso sux.. haiz.. sry.. vulgar post.. =/ me realli v fed up of life.. i cant stand it lor.. i realli wanna gif up.. but dats e last resort.. haiz.. sec 3 life is jux simply horrible.. sick.. tired.. stress.. dying.. rotting.. fading awae..let me go..
i m stil sick!!kaoz.. can u believe it.. my fever can cum bac anitime as it had dis few days.. sorethroat stil.. blk nose still.. menx.. tml stil hafta stay in skool till 4.10!! gosh.. i stil got tons of hw n tests!! menx.. wit all dis.. hw can i eva recover? haiz.. ytd.. i was doin hw alone in e bdrm.. den i on radio to accompany me mah.. den after awhile my bro cum in n lie on his bed listenin to radio too.. dat moment.. i luk at him.. den remem dat he ll b goin to army soon.. dis april.. mayb.. mayb i can send him off to army.. but dat hafta depend.. coz i noe dat i ll haf rehersal on dat dae.. u tink cdc can let me off? :rolleyes: haiz.. hope i can.. coz at least i ll do my part as a sis.. i was jux wonderin if i ll miss him if he was gone.. cox to sae e truth.. i owaes stay up late is bcoz of his presence dat i dared.. cox mayb u realise.. i m scared of dark.. okok.. me v timid.. lolx.. wit him arnd i den dare to stay in living rm doin my stuffs.. chatting on e com.. doin hw in rm.. coz i noe dat deres still someone havent slp yet.. nth ll happen.. security.. yep.. although he owaes bully me.. scold me.. dun treat me as his sis. but nvm la.. we r stil blood related.. hu ask me to born in dis family.. jux accept fate bah.. menx.. i m scared dat i ll miss him.. no one ll slp in e same rm as me le.. no one help me out wit com probs.. no one to laugh at my lame jokes.. no one to accompany me at nite.. haiz.. later still got piano lesson.. i dun feel like goin menx.. coz stil not feeling well.. haiz.. but like wat my mum had said.. i got no time to let my piano cher to replace another lesson.. haiz.. suayed.. menx.. gtg to do n chiong finish all my hw le.. haiz.. =( my life sux..
menx.. i m sick for e past few daes..i m suffering.. sick since tues.. till nw.. haizhaiz.. when den can recover? i tot ytd i m feeling better.. but i was rong.. i becum voiceless todae!! argh.. i cant sing.. i cant tok.. i cant read tings aloud.. i lost my freedom!! sad sia.. aniwae.. dis few daes nth much happen.. but dis wk seems to past v fast.. fri le.. amazin.. i survive for my 3wks of sec 3 life.. cant believe it sia.. but aniwae.. i sit at e bac.. so i onli mix well wit e ppl at e bac.. not e front ones.. lolx.. so.. i onli noe bout onli half of e class.. half onli.. haiz.. to imagine dat i m goin to stay survive in dat class for 2yrs.. but nvm la.. i tink i can.. try lor.. bz playin last nite.. din do much hw.. i m goin to chiong all e wae todae n tml.. i mux forbid myself not to touch com menx.. but dun tink i can.. lolx.. nvm.. i TRY.. lolx.. later still got tuition.. sianz menx.. but nvm.. can ask cher hw to do maths.. ^^ den shun bian can finish maths hw dere.. xD lolx.. sianz sianz.. sianed.. sianzation.. mani ppl sick recently.. hope everyone get well soon bah..
no mood..i laugh alot todae.. fake laugh? fake smile? ya.. to tryin to make me forget.. tryin to hide my sorrow.. menx.. i dun wan to hear ani word bout sorrow or dark animore.. i got no mood.. i jux feel sad.. piss.. angry.. disappointed.. wte emotions.. jux not happi.. whrs happifool? haiz.. by e wae.. hueva is readin dis entry nw.. my advice to u is dont read animore.. i ll b letting out my everyting since i duno hu to tell to.. dats y i dun wan u to feel sad wit me.. its bad u noe.. ytd.. or rather sat.. mani mani tings happen.. mani.. alot.. tons.. dats y i cant finish all my hw in tym.. i was jux too distress to concentrate.. esp ytd.. menx.. i was wonderin.. askin myself numorous of tyms of wat haf i done rong.. but i jux duno.. n yet.. haiz.. y cant dat guy jux sae everyting out if he jux got e guts? since he got e guts to sae out part of e prob.. y cant he haf e guts to sae everyting out? menx.. i feel lyk scoldin vulgar liao.. tryin to control myself.. he is jux a stupid coward.. n i hate cowards.. if he got e guts.. say everyting out.. sae out hw haf i insulted him.. sae out wadde hell haf i done.. its not diff to quit.. its jux a click on e mouse to delete charac.. isnt dat ez? menx.. its wae too simple.. i can quit anityme.. if his aim is to force me out of e guild.. sure.. dont make me crazi.. i can do it.. jux a click as i haf said.. wae too ez.. my mood nw is too depress.. i dun feel lyk tokin menx.. if helpin out ppl ends up to b depising.. sry.. mayb i shldnt help har? i can simply go on lvlin.. increasin my skills.. y waste tym on someone hu dont eva appreciate? n plx.. if dun nid my help.. dun ask me to help.. jux a few words "no need le".. do u noe hw hurting it can b? sae ppl r stupid.. ahem.. no one is stupid in dis world.. at least dats wat i blieve.. u got no rite to scold ppl stupid!! u jux got no rite.. i wanan post smt on e forums.. i wan.. but i stop myself.. rl friens.. i dont wanna break a frienship.. or mayb more.. i m jux kippin everyting to myself.. taking up all e burdens.. i m sufferin alone.. do u noe dat? no.. u ll nv noe..
hi.. jux came bac from skool.. phew.. todae ss test.. i tok crapx inside.. but horx.. i run out of crapx.. =.= in d end i onli rote 1.5pg long.. diaoz.. other ppl rite 2-3 pg long lehx.. aiyo.. hope dat i ll at least pass dat bah.. my furx ss test dis yr.. lolx.. ytd is a long dae.. i vv long dae.. mon get to skool as usual.. den afta skool go rehersal.. den afta rehersal hafta act again for cher to c.. den.. 6+ i go tuition.. luckily i reach dere on tym.. 6.59? haha.. cant sae on tym.. coz mr soon owaes sae on tym is late.. lolx.. =P.. hmm.. aniwae.. afta we act for e cher.. e cher n our director [senior] gif us comments.. while i m acting for cher n director to c.. i too scared.. den i forgot my lines.. den i pause awhile.. bout 3-5sec lidat.. dat moment seems to b so long lor.. den i continue after recallin.. guess wat my director told me after acting? '' u got memorise e scripts anot.. ask ur conscience '' i was like.. stunn.. nearly cried.. but dis tym i m strong.. i hang on.. haiz.. to tink dat my efforts had gone into e drain after wat she said to me.. i did.. n i noe i did memorise.. i was rantin to my partner dat he got so irritate by me lor.. i was rantin on my wae hm.. on my wae to skool.. b4 i slp.. dats not enuff? mayb dats not enuff.. but i m gonna tell u here.. i had enuff.. i m goin to get crazi.. dun force me.. or u ll not noe wat i ll do nxt.. i haf asked my conscience.. i had alrdy dun my bex..
i.. cried again..wth.. i lose control again.. y i m so fragile.. y cant i stay strong.. y cant i b more confidence.. y..stress.. i M stress.. okok.. to tell u e truth.. i dun feel lyk actin.. i hate actin.. i wanna b myself.. but nw.. i got a new role.. to act at e new yr eve.. =.=.. y owaes me.. i alrdy got no tym.. realli realli.. dis fri i got ss test.. 30pgs to study!! n guess wat? i havent even touch dem.. i m dead.. i sae dat again.. i m dead!! happi? as for e zhi fei ji de script.. sry if i din memorise alot.. sry dat probably to u i din try my bex.. but do u noe dat i m alrdy tryin my bex??!! u duno.. i kip chantin e scripts to my partner.. do u noe hw irritatin is he? u duno.. despite my efforts.. i stil cant remem al e script.. my fault.. i m fallin sick.. but i hang on.. but i stil cant act well.. my fault.. began to fear rehersal n hate everydae wit rehersal.. my fault.. but do u wnana noe y? coz i realli hate all dis.. okok.. dun sae dat i m throwin my temper.. u tink i wan? u tot cryin is fun? i jux hope dat i can cry one n for all.. but i cant.. i nearly break dwn.. rl saw it.. she is scared? i tink so.. e fragile side of me.. omenx.. after cdc i den noe dat alot of ppl noe dat i cry durin one of e rehersals.. =.=.. haiz.. dey anxious sia.. ask me if got ani prob jux tell dem.. do u tink i ll? jux nw b4 reachin hm.. i told rl dat my mum ll definitely scold me coz i m selected for e cny de performance.. n sure.. it cums true.. n she wans me to quit cdc.. u noe hw i feel? i haf alrdy suffered for 2 yrs.. jux 1.5yrs more.. i can quit actin foreva.. but y she lyk to force me.. argh.. i hate myself.. y i cry.. y m i so.. forget me.. leave me alone.. i sux..
so tired nw.. a v bz dae i can sae.. mornin.. 5.30 wake up.. =.=.. v early rite? coz of cca orrientation.. haiz.. in d end reach skool at bout 6.45 i tink.. coz i walk v fast to skool.. coz rainin mah.. den i lazy open umbrella.. den reach skool.. zuo bo dere.. committee reach liaola.. den i so borin dere lor.. in d end go put up banner.. n duno do wat else.. oya.. i wear as a red riding hood.. -.-.. ew.. red all over.. yucks.. but no choice.. dats e simplest i can tink of.. den shout lyk siaoz.. den ask here ask dere.. my feelings is dat rite.. dis yr sec 1s got attitude prob de.. realli.. no jokin.. me serious nw.. dey v wad lor.. i tok to dem.. den some luk at me.. den walk awae.. some dun even luk at me.. lyk i m invisible lidat.. d others tot i m ghost.. saw me siam fast fast.. =.=".. okok.. mayb i realli luk disgustin.. but it hurts lor.. when dey jux.. aniwae.. overal.. jux dun lyk dis yr de sec 1s in my skool.. jux wonderin y is my skool de generation gettin worser each yr.. ppl jux throw our leaflets n door gifts awae.. =.=".. dis one realli hurts.. coz we do e door gifts.. we color e leaflets.. den in d end.. haiz.. wat a yr..afta dat i rush hm.. coz hafta attend my piano cher de concert.. aniwae.. jux one word to describe.. splendid sia.. everyting is jux too nice.. so v beautiful.. v amazed.. lolx.. everyting went okok afta dat.. mum is fallin sick.. she caught a cold i tink.. may her get well soon.. =) may me not get sick too.. may everyone stay healthy as dey can b.. x)
fri.. furx fridae of 2005.. wat m i feelin? mayb sec 3 life rnt dat horrible afteral.. we get to noe more bout each other.. oli a few of those hu r more out going la.. d others still kip to demselves.. jux wonderin if dey continues to kip to demselves foreva.. wat is goin to happen to dis class? happi wit myself.. although i might b noisy.. [too tokative.. xP] but at least noe more friens.. dats a gd sign.. mayb we r gettin to accept fate dat we hafta seperate from our friens.. wonderin.. ponderin.. e topics we once share together wit our gd friens r decreasin.. gettin lesser n lesser.. jux take ls n i as an example.. we used to tok crapz wit each other.. it jux seems dat we haf endless crapz.. wat bout nw? i noe dat she got new friens liao.. n dey get along pretty well.. so.. i dun wanna interupt.. n when we met each other.. we had nth to tok bout.. realli nth.. jux ask.. hws ur life goin on? e ans ll jux oli b a 'ok lor'.. den we ll remain in such an akward silence.. mayb we r realli driftin apart.. mayb.. is dis wat i expected? yes.. but i dun wish it to b true.. but.. its true.. kinda sad.. but.. dats destiny.. i cant change e fact.. can i? no.. ytd rehersal.. lucky din reherse my part.. but got la.. wt add more roles for me.. =.=.. but luckily e additional roles r quite ez.. so.. aiya.. alot of tings happen in dis wk.. al my chers r okok la.. but some r damn borin.. can slp at deir class menx.. oya.. n alot of hw.. sianz.. dun tel me sec 3 life r jux hw hw n hw.. gosh.. den i ll b dead menx.. sianz.. later stil got tuition.. is dis how my life ll go on? sianz..
guess wats my mood nw? sucks..todae mornin.. everyting went pretty well.. okok though.. but jux feel.. extra.. extra.. odd one out.. reali.. i dunno hu to sit wit.. i duno wat to tok bout.. al i noe is dat i m so alone dere.. so.. lonely? i kip tryin to find topic to sae.. but it jux seems so cold lor.. ppl bz doin or copyin hw.. wat m i doin? zuo bo.. aniwae.. new principle.. hear him tok crapx lor.. one guy in sec 1 faint.. he jux fall forward.. not collapse.. is jux fall forward.. kinda scary.. jux.. sort of in front of my row.. mayb is cant stand principle's tok.. aniwae.. go to class.. lame ting.. sittin arrangement.. we hafta sit accordin to birthdae.. lolx.. in d end i sit wit erich.. ex cdc member.. lolx.. aniwae.. i sit at e last row AGAIN.. suay? duno leh.. can c is can c.. but got one gal blkin me in front.. hafta move to e left when she move to e rite when lukin at whiteboard.. den if she move left i hafta move rite.. =.=.. aniwae.. everyting okok la.. but v borin.. v sianz.. recess tym.. go arnd findin friens.. a bit lame.. n its myself again.. wa lao.. whr r my friens? duno y la.. some reluctant to go wit me.. as i haf said.. those close wit me de is seperated.. fate? duno.. in d end afew of us gather together n tok crap.. i feel extra again.. aniwae.. i lyk eng lesson e most.. coz i lyk e cher.. she seems so.. friendly.. so cheerful.. yet when we ask bout her bf.. she sae dat she jux broke wit him b4 new yr eve.. sad? but she stil can remain as cheerful as she can b.. jumpin arnd crackin jokes.. abit lyk me.. wearin a mask in front of everyone? shes cute.. n i respect her.. coz she is worth it.. i bet shes cryin at hm afta havin to put up a fake smile for e whole dae.. gues wat.. e moment i reach hm at bout 5+.. wat i got is jux scoldins.. n non stop scoldins.. do i oli worth for scoldings? is dis wat i get? jux bcoz i slp at 10.30 last nite.. my fault??! jux coz i m helpin zy print his hw.. my fault? jux bcoz my printer smt rong.. my fault? hafta try to fix up e prob myself while no one is dere for me.. my fault? i did not explain to her.. my mum? i noe she ll nv listen to me.. so wats e point of explainin? al dat is in her head is dat wte i said is rubbish.. is excuses i made up myself.. is al lies.. but.. she ll nv understand her daughter.. neither ll my dad.. dey al tink dat i m jux lazy.. jux rebellious.. but wat is goin on in my lil life? dey ll nv noe.. nv.. ytd.. smt happen.. i dun wish to sae.. n i dun wish to sae much.. coz i noe no matter wat i sae is jux rubbish to u guys.. i sux.. fine? hw cum ppl lyks to put al blame to me? do i luk so much lyk a scapegoat? push al e bad tings to me.. do i worth dat? i hate dis family.. i hate dis world.. wats e point of livin in a family which seems lyk a hell? y not jux live in hell..
huiyi (:
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